And Now… A Message for the Men of Australia.

by |April 1, 2010

THE MEN OF AUSTRALIA MUST CHANGE THEIR WAYS

In the shadow of Mother’s Day there lurks an oft overlooked day, Wife’s Day.

What is Wife’s Day?

Wife’s Day takes place before Mother’s Day proper. It begins with a man overseeing his children making their mother ‘breakfast in bed’ and is followed by the children giving her gifts he has bought them to give. These gifts, by some miracle are two distinct things at once. They are both the children’s Mother’s Day gifts and a husband’s humble offering to his beloved on Wife’s Day.

Sadly, few men realise this.

Married men of Australia, don’t you see? Wife’s Day must be taken more seriously than Mother’s Day. A mother is predisposed to forgive the faults of her son. A wife, however, never forgives or forgets.

Traditionally, men have seen Mother’s Day (Wife’s Day) as a good opportunity to buy household items: an iron, an ironing board, oven mitts, an apron, a toilet brush, a new mop, a picture in a frame which says ‘Bless this mess’, a microwave, a set of steak knives, a laundry basket, a rake, a bag of fertiliser, a frying pan, a new hose… or, when truly inspired, some men dare to cross into the forbidden zone and buy: facial hair remover cream, nana undies, a size nothing dress a slim eighteen year old girl in a hip dress shop was wearing, diet anything or anti-ageing cream…

Such disregard for the awesome power of a woman scorned cannot continue! Can men really think their wife will believe their eighteen-month-old son chose, all by himself, to give her a new clothes rack?

Behind every atrocious Mother’s Day present there is a man, usually one who has yet to recognise the existence of Wife’s Day.

Men! Men! Men of Australia, listen to me!

There is a better way!

Do not upset the two most important women in your life – make them happy – buy them books.

Books are, without a doubt, the most perfect gift for Mother’s/Wife’s Day.

Now, for those men who cannot relinquish age-old stereotypes there are gardening books, cook books, decorating books, books with cleaning tips and books on general housewifery.

For those men who accept the right of liberated women to desire books which appear to fit age-old stereotypes but which are now cleansed of those associations by the conscious and free preference of said women then we have gardening books, cook books, decorating books, books with cleaning tips and books on general housewifery.

For those men who have taken notice of what their wife or their mother reads there is a careful selection of the best new novels, memoirs, biographies and other non-fiction.

For those men who want a gift which will appear to come from their child, then we have books for kids to give their mum.

All of your book needs this Mother’s Day (Wife’s Day) are catered for here at Booktopia.

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BREAKING NEWS: The Government has just announced that women who are pregnant with their first child on May 9th are eligible for Mother’s Day presents. An official spokesperson offered this warning to fathers-to-be: how you handle this first Mother’s Day is crucial and will determine the direction relations with your wife will take: buy her a book.

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For the full range of books especially selected by BOOKTOPIA for Mother’s Day CLICK HERE!

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About the Contributor

John Purcell (aka Natasha Walker) is the author of The Secret Lives of Emma trilogy published by Random House Australia. The Secret Lives of Emma: Beginnings reached the top ten on the Australian fiction charts and Natasha/John was the tenth highest selling Australian novelist and third highest selling Australian debut author in 2012. The trilogy has since sold over 50,000 copies in print and ebook and has been translated into French and Polish. John has worked in the book industry for the last twenty years. While still in his twenties he opened John’s Bookshop, a second-hand bookshop in Mosman in which he sat for ten years reading, ranting and writing. Now he is the Head of Product and Chief Buyer at booktopia.com.au.

Follow John: Twitter Website

Comments

  • April 1, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    You posted this on April 1 for a reason, right?!

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