GUEST BLOG: Five Things I Learnt From Editing Mothermorphosis (by Monica Dux)

The importance of valuing the hard work of writers.

The effort that goes into good short form writing is frequently undervalued. People often imagine that all it takes is for someone to come up with an idea, sit down and type out an essay, run a spell check, then deliver their work.

Of course writing a strong essay is so much more than this; for most of us it’s a long and arduous process, from conception to execution, involving an enormous amount of thought, re-writing, re-thinking, editing and polishing. The net result of all this labour is to submerge the effort that was required, making the finished piece read as if it really was easy and effortless.

All the writers who contributed to this collection were professional, and the quality of work reveals how much time and thought they put into their pieces. This is a collection that relied on the good will of its contributors, so I was profoundly grateful for their efforts.

That every mother really does have an important story to tell.

Susan Carland, one of the contributors in Mothermorphosis, wrote in her essay “My unique tale is just the same as yours”.

In the past I’ve thought a lot about this tension, but it became more pronounced for me when reading the contributions. Every mother has her own unique story to tell, but there are also so many things that bind us all, so much that is universal. It’s a fascinating contradiction.

As an editor, it’s amazing how good a prompt, polite decline can make you feel.

There were a few women I invited to contribute to this book who weren’t able to write something for the collection but who declined the offer quickly and graciously. Getting such rejections felt almost as valuable as having a writer come back saying they’d be happy to contribute.

I’m often invited to participate in projects that I don’t have the time or resources for. Editing Mothermorphosis was a timely reminder about the importance of being polite and positive about such offers, even if you are unable to be involved.

Editing is fun.

I thoroughly enjoyed putting the collection together. Instead of having to angst over my own work, I was able to luxuriate in the excellent work of other writers.

It was a real privilege facilitating this book, especially knowing that we are hoping to raise awareness for PANDA, the Post and Antenatal Depression Association. I feel that not only will the collection be enjoyed by many people, but it also has the potential to contribute to an organisation for which I have immense admiration.

That it’s hard to write an introduction for a collection that you’ve edited.

It took me a long time to get my introduction right. When you’re a contributor you can follow your own path, writing in relative isolation. By comparison, introducing a collection requires you to strike a peculiar sort of balance. To be interesting and engaging, without dominating. To showcase the individual essays in the collection, without simply name checking the various contributors. To write something that contextualises the work and draws out the underlying themes, without resorting to empty generalisations. In the end I hope I managed to pull it off, although I’ll leave it to the readers to decide!

Grab a copy of Mothermorphosis here

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mduxmug-edit-smaller1Monica Dux is a columnist with The Age, a social commentator and author of Things I Didn’t Expect (when I was expecting), and co-author of The Great Feminist Denial.

She can be heard regularly on ABC radio and 3RRR, and has published widely, especially on women’s issues.

You can find Monica on twitter at @monicadux

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mothermorphosisMothermorphosis

Australia’s Best Storytellers Write About Becoming a Mother

In Mothermorphosis , some of Australia’s most talented writers and storytellers share their own experiences of motherhood. In telling their stories they articulate the complex internal conflicts, the exhilaration and the absurdity of the transformation that takes place when we become mothers. We read about the yearning for a child, the private and public expressions of maternal love, the questioning, uncertainty and unexpected delight, as well as unfathomable loss.

Mothermorphosis reveals that there is no ‘right’ version of this epic experience and no single tale that could ever speak for all mothers. Yet it is in reading about other women’s experiences and dash;the hard bits, the joyous bits and even the ridiculous bitsandmdash;that we can become more compassionate, not just to other mothers but hopefully to ourselves.

Mothermorphosis includes writing from: Kate Holden, Kathy Lette, Lorelei Vashti, Rebecca Huntley, George McEnroe, Fatima Measham, Jo Case, Hilary Harper, Cordelia Fine, Jane Caro, Hannah Robert, Susan Carland, Kerri Sackville, Catherine Deveny, Lee Kofman and Dee Madigan.

Grab a copy of Mothermorphosis here

Monica Dux, author of Mothermorphosis, answers Ten Terrifying Questions

mothermorphosis

 

The Booktopia Book Guru asks

Monica Dux

author of Mothermorphosis

Ten Terrifying Questions
____________

1. To begin with why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself – where were you born? Raised? Schooled?

I was born in Sydney. Raised by wolves and schooled in the ways of the jungle.

2. What did you want to be when you were twelve, eighteen and thirty? And why?

At twelve I wanted to be a nun, an actor, the President of the United States, and a Neurosurgeon. Luckily I was part of the Having it All generation, so I didn’t trouble myself with the logistics of fulfilling my dreams.

At 18, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to be.

At 30, I wanted to be able to pay my rent while doing something interesting and meaningful that didn’t involve having to say “have a nice day!”

mduxmug-edit-smaller1

Author: Monica Dux

3. What strongly held belief did you have at eighteen that you do not have now?

That the three black rectangles I got tattooed onto my arm would always delight.

4. What were three big events – in the family circle or on the world stage or in your reading life, for example – you can now say, had a great effect on you and influenced you in your career path?

My husband is a screenwriter and his career had a huge impact on my decision to become a writer. Not so much because I admired his work (although I do), but because I was envious of the fact that he worked from home and so could pop out for a coffee whenever he felt like it.

Being able to make my own hours and not answer to The Man, seemed very attractive. This was before we had kids of course, so sadly it all turned out to be a delusion.

The second big event was having the aforementioned kids. They’ve dictated so much of my career, which isn’t a bad thing at all, and has probably saved me many nights of angsting over choices I don’t now have.

The third thing is all those who’ve continued to publish me. Without a space to publish, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do.

5. Considering the innumerable electronic media avenues open to you – blogs, online newspapers, TV, radio, etc – why have you chosen to produce a book? Aren’t they obsolete?

It used to really bug me when people went on about how much they loved the printed book. But I am now one of those people. These days being a writer involves engaging with many different media, and I’m comfortable with that. But the printed book is akin to the wheel – there’s absolutely no need to change it, and I don’t doubt that it will persist, long after various other forms of media have been transformed or become redundant.

mothermorphosis

6. Please tell us about your latest book…

Mothermorphosis is a collection of essays about the experience of becoming a mother from some of Australia’s best writers and commentators. It came about as a result of a conversation I had with the commissioning editor Dina Kluska, about how stories of motherhood are not always valued, even though motherhood is such a profound experience. I think it’s crucial that mothers share their stories, in all their variety, and that’s what this book is about.

It’s a gorgeous collection; each contributor has produced something quite special.

We decided to donate part of the royalties to PANDA (the Post and Antenatal Depression Association), an organisation which does amazing work helping new parents.

Grab a copy of Monica’s new book Mothermorphosis here

7. If your work could change one thing in this world – what would it be?

Achieving world peace would be nice. If that’s not going to happen, I’d like to think my work changes ordinary people’s lives for the better, perhaps even in small ways, giving them an insight into other lives and perhaps making them feel less alone. That’s what makes writing worthwhile.

8. Whom do you most admire and why?

That’s a hard one. There are so many people I admire. But today I vote for my husband Kris Mrksa. He’s smart and funny and has taught me more about writing than anyone else I know. And he’s been overseas for work, so I’m missing him. He left out a complete clean change of clothes for the kids for every day he was away, which has meant they’ve been able to go to school with clean underwear, and I haven’t had to use the washing machine.

9. Many artists set themselves very ambitious goals. What are yours?

I used to put a lot of pressure on myself about what I wanted to achieve. Now I focus more on just moving forward, on being able to continue creating. I set myself goals, but I’m always aware how quickly things can change, so I’m not too hard on myself if they don’t work out.

I do fear going backwards, but writing is a long game, and I’ve become more comfortable with that reality, and so more resigned to all that it entails. As long as people keep reading my work, I’m happy. I couldn’t keep writing if I thought I had no audience.

10. What advice do you give aspiring writers?

You need to be tenacious. So stay tough. But don’t be precious. No one is interested in your navel.

Monica, thank you for playing.

Grab a copy of Mothermorphosis here


mothermorphosisMothermorphosis

Australia’s Best Storytellers Write About Becoming a Mother

In Mothermorphosis , some of Australia’s most talented writers and storytellers share their own experiences of motherhood. In telling their stories they articulate the complex internal conflicts, the exhilaration and the absurdity of the transformation that takes place when we become mothers. We read about the yearning for a child, the private and public expressions of maternal love, the questioning, uncertainty and unexpected delight, as well as unfathomable loss.

Mothermorphosis reveals that there is no ‘right’ version of this epic experience and no single tale that could ever speak for all mothers. Yet it is in reading about other women’s experiences and dash;the hard bits, the joyous bits and even the ridiculous bitsandmdash;that we can become more compassionate, not just to other mothers but hopefully to ourselves.

Mothermorphosis includes writing from: Kate Holden, Kathy Lette, Lorelei Vashti, Rebecca Huntley, George McEnroe, Fatima Measham, Jo Case, Hilary Harper, Cordelia Fine, Jane Caro, Hannah Robert, Susan Carland, Kerri Sackville, Catherine Deveny, Lee Kofman and Dee Madigan.

Grab a copy of Mothermorphosis here

 

Who’s giving the opening address at The Sydney Writers’ Festival? Andrew Solomon. Let Jo Case & President Bill Clinton tell you why #SWF2014

Order Far From the TreeAndrew Solomon’s Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity is a truly amazing labour of love – and one of my favourite books of the past decade. Over seven years, Solomon has interviewed over 300 families where parents have children who are different from themselves in a defining way, across ten different categories, including deafness, dwarves, autistic and criminal children. He expertly weaves the diverse experience of these families into a narrative whole, looking at how parents come to love and accept children who are not what they expected, and to see the surprising positives in some of the most daunting challenges.

To what degree do these parents accept their children as they are, try to cure them, or a blend of both? What is it like to inhabit those identities, here and now? And (perhaps most intriguingly), is it better to get by in the mainstream world, with effort, but always be aware of not quite fitting in, or to relax into your natural self in a marginal world?

I was sucked into this book from the first page because of the masterful storytelling – a regular New Yorker writer, Solomon exemplifies the world-class reportage that the magazine is famous for. But I was left thinking about it for weeks and months afterwards because of the way Solomon explores questions at the heart of what makes us human, through the subject of parenting under challenging circumstances. Sometimes, he suggests, when we are forced to work harder for something, we value it even more.

Review by Jo Case, author of Boomer and Me: A memoir of motherhood, and Asperger’s

In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child’s development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America –many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine–who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way.

President Bill Clinton

Andrew Solomon will be giving the Opening Address at the Sydney Writers’ Festival on 20th May 2014 – for more details click the banner below…

BOOK NOW: 2014 Opening Address: Andrew Solomon

Order Far From the Tree

Far From the Tree

Sometimes your child – the most familiar person of all – is radically different from you. The saying goes that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But what happens when it does?

In this seminal new study of family, Andrew Solomon tells the stories of parents who learn to deal with their exceptional children and find profound meaning in doing so.

He introduces us to families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, disability, with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, Solomon documents repeated triumphs of human love and compassion to show that the shared experience of difference is what unites us.

Drawing on interviews with over three hundred families, Solomon documents ordinary people making courageous choices, whether considering prenatal screening for genetic disorders, cochlear implants for the deaf, or gender reassignment surgery.
Parents and children are challenged to their limits, but often grow closer as a result; many discover supportive communities of others similarly affected; some are inspired to become activists, celebrating the conditions they once feared.

Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original thinker, Far From The Tree explores themes of generosity, acceptance and tolerance – and shows how love for one’s children can transcend every prejudice. This crucial and revelatory book expands our definition of what it is to be human.

Photo by Annie Leibovitz.

Photo by Annie Leibovitz.

About the Author

Andrew Solomon is a writer and activist working on politics, culture and psychology. He writes regularly for The New YorkerNewsweek, and The Guardian. He is a Lecturer in Psychiatry at Cornell University and Special Adviser on LGBT Affairs to Yale University’s Department of Psychiatry. The Noonday Demon won the 2001 National Book Award and was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize. His highly-acclaimed study of family, Far from the Tree won the 2012 National Book Critics Circle Award for General Non-fiction, the Lukas Book Prize and the Anisfield-Wolf Book Award, among others. He lives with his husband and son in New York and London.

 

As seen in SMH & THE AGE > Books that changed me: Andrew Solomon

REVIEWS:

Far from the Tree is a landmark, revolutionary book. It frames an area of inquiry ‐difference between parents and children–that many of us have experienced in our own lives without ever considering it as a phenomenon. Andrew Solomon plumbs his topic thoroughly, humanely, and in a compulsively readable style that makes the book as entertaining as it is illuminating–

Order Far From the Tree

 Jennifer Egan, Pulitzer Prize– winning author of A Visit from the Goon Squad

Andrew Solomon has written a brave and ambitious work, bringing together science, culture and a powerful empathy. Solomon tells us that we have more in common with each other– even with those who seem anything but normal– than we would ever have imagined.

Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers and The Tipping Point

This is a monumental book, the kind that appears once in a decade. It could not be a better example of the literature of diversity.

Steven Pinker, fucking genius and author of The Blank Slate 

‘Reading Far from the Tree is a mind-opening experience.’ Eric Kandel

‘Andrew Solomon’s investigation of many of the most intense challenges that parenthood can bring compels us all to re-examine how we understand human difference. Perhaps the greatest gift of this monumental book, full of facts and full of feelings, is that it constantly makes one think, and think again.’ Philip Gourevitch

 After all that, how can you not want to order a copy of Far from the Tree from Booktopia right now…? Click Here

Dr. Yvonne Sum, author of Intentional Parenting: How to Get Results for Both You and Your Kids, answers Ten Terrifying Questions

The Booktopia Book Guru asks

Dr. Yvonne Sum

author of Intentional Parenting : How to Get Results for Both You and Your Kids

Ten Terrifying Questions

 ——————————–

1. To begin with why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself – where were you born? Raised? Schooled?

I consider myself a bit of a global product: I was made in Sydney Australia, exported to Malaysia when I was 2 years old, recalled to Australia (hopefully no major defects that an Aussie attitude will not fix), 1.5 decades later, and re-packaged for the global marketplace. Currently I am being held in Qatar (strategically placed in the world so I can get to most places of the globe within 8 hours’ flight, and only need travel long- haul to get to Melbourne (12 hours) or Houston (17 hours).

2. What did you want to be when you were twelve, eighteen and thirty? And why?

I always wanted to be around people: I was energised by people. I loved being with people. I loved learning from them. My passions revolved around people – and how to learn to get them to live their highest potential.

So it is hardly surprising that when I was 6 years old, I told my grandmother that I wanted to be the mother of 100 children. To which she wisely replied (with a twinkle in her eye): “You will have to start straight away, my dear … and hope to live long enough to accomplish such a feat.”

At 12 years old, I wanted to be a nurse – as I had been reading story upon story of heroines who served as nurses in the war. I adored Florence Nightingale. Mostly I felt that nurses provided great comfort when people (patients and their families) were at their worst.

When my 18th birthday came around, I had fallen in love with the prospect of being a journalist. I had been involved as the editor of my school newspaper (that I founded) and was busy on the school magazine team. My projects took me to meet many people in the community whom I loved interviewing and learning from. Sadly, I had fallen out of love with the typewriter (this was pre-word processing via a pc or notebook…) by the time I had to sign up for my University degree. I queued up to join the ranks of the beloved (NOT!) profession – the dental surgeon – via a short sojourn in the Royal Australian Air Force as a Pilot Officer in the Medical Corp. Why? Well, I thought I could work hands-on more with people and less with paperwork (as I did not have to deal with the dreaded typewriter) and there was a certain romantic ideal that I could become a heroine saving my patients from (pulpal) death and waging my war against the epidemic of dental anxiety and phobia in the community!

By the time I was 30, I was getting traction in my battle against Dental Anxiety through my roles as a Media Spokesperson for the Australian Dental Association (in my attempt to re-brand The Dentist in our Community as a public friendly educator and motivator of DIY self-help health – after all, most of dental disease was preventable), an Educator / Mentor for University of Sydney Dental Undergraduates and Post-Graduates, and a dental entrepreneur who ran practices that aimed to deliver quality healthcare that was engaging for both patient and team member.

However, it was not until I turned 34, when I faced a remarkable turning point in my life that put me in the best role ever. I became a parent to my little boy Jett and two years later, his sister Xian. I realised that my calling was to learn leadership from first-hand parenting – so I may help the world reach their highest potential by working with the parents.

So began my empirical research into ‘Parents as Leaders’ – and conversely ‘Leaders as Parents’…. which took me down my current path as a Leadership Coach, Certified Speaking Professional and Author.

3. What strongly held belief did you have at eighteen that you do not have now?

That parents have all the answers!

4. What were three big events – in the family circle or on the world stage or in your reading life, for example – you can now say, had a great effect on you and influenced you in your career path?

Becoming a parent.

Discovering NLP on my journey to understand our human condition.

Independence as a 16-year-old living with my sister in Sydney.

5. Considering the innumerable electronic media avenues open to you – blogs, online newspapers, TV, radio, etc – why have you chosen to write a book? aren’t they obsolete?

It is a perfect complement to ALL of the above. Some of us still love the touch, feel and smell of a newly printed book……I am also an avid blogger, reader of online articles, and enjoy being a guest or host on TV, radio, podcast, webinars, and other multi-media …. bring it on!

6. Please tell us about your latest book…

Intentional Parenting How to Get Results for Both You and Your Kids  was written as a conversation with the reader who may have had some concerns like me. You see, I was initially a reluctant parent because I thought I was totally fulfilled in my career and needed nothing more. The perfectionist in me erroneously hypothesised that I had to subtract other parts of my life to be able to do parenting properly. Until my decision to be less concerned about being the perfect parent but to be the observant learner of my children did I find I could not only love and support them to be the best human beings they can be, but it simultaneously paved the way for me to re-discover the genius in me. I am excited to share my learning insights on this personal transformational journey -and hoped readers will find this a useful piece to reflect on.

Click here to buy Intentional Parenting from Booktopia,
Australia’s Local Bookstore

7. If your work could change one thing in this world – what would it be?

Be the best human being you can be – don’t short-change the world by selfishly keeping your genius hidden and unexpressed.

8. Whom do you most admire and why?

My parents, Jerry and Alice Sum. It is through their Role Modelling that “Parents are Leaders”. It was always a learning partnership from the get-go. It took me to have my own children before it dawned upon me the ingenuity of their methods.

9. Many people set themselves very ambitious goals. What are yours?

Be the best human being I can be – so I don’t short-change the world by selfishly keeping my genius hidden and unexpressed.

10. What advice do you give aspiring writers?

Be clear of your outcome: What do you want?

Take action: Just Do It!

Be alert: Observe keenly the results of your actions.

Keep measuring: Make sure the results are on track with your outcome.

Be flexible: You may need to change actions to get your outcome.

Manage your energy:

Passion + Persistence + Perspiration = Inspirational Outcome

____________________________

Dr. Yvonne Sum, thank you for playing.

Click here to buy Intentional Parenting from Booktopia,
Australia’s Local Bookstore

OUT NOW: Career Mums by Kate Sykes and Allison Tait

‘I want to go back to work.’

No matter what your story, your reasons, your philosophy, chances are that if you’re a mum, one day you’ll find yourself saying a version of those words.

And then wondering how you’ll make it happen.

This is a practical game plan, designed to get you back into work and help you stay there.

WITH EXCELLENT TIPS AND ADVICE ON HOW TO:

* MAKE YOUR JOB WORK FOR YOU
* NEGOTIATE FLEXIBLE HOURS
* START A WHOLE NEW CAREER

CAREER MUMS WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET THE BEST OUT OF BOTH WORLDS

Click here to order your copy of Career Mums from Booktopia,
Australia’s No. 1 Online Book Shop

About the Authors:

Allison Tait is an experienced journalist who has been writing for books, magazines and newspapers for more than twenty years. Her list of writing credits includes magazines such as Marie Claire, Madison, Vogue Australia, CLEO, Cosmopolitan and Sunday Life, as well as newspapers including The Sydney Morning Herald and The Sunday Telegraph, and ninemsn’s Finance and Careers websites, kidspot.com.au and other sites. She is the author of Credit Card Stressbusters: Slash your credit card debt in 90 days (Wrightbooks), and documents her life as a writer and mother of two on her blog, lifeinapinkfibro.blogspot.com.

Kate Sykes is the founder of careermums.com.au, Australia’s first dedicated careers centre and jobs board for working parents and parents returning to work. She also runs a recruitment business called Lift – liftrecruitment.com.au – and is a workforce planning specialist, working with businesses to implement flexible workplace policies and strategies for retaining parents after parental leave. She is a member of AHRI (Australian Human Resources Institute), the chair of the Canberra Business Council’s Workstyles Committee, and 2010/11 Telstra ACT Business Woman of the Year.

Extract

Introduction

I want to go back to work. I need to go back to work. I have to go back to work.

No matter what your story, your reasons, your philosophy, chances are that if you’re a mum, one day you’ll find yourself saying a version of those words. And then wondering how you’ll make it happen.

In January 2010, the government introduced the right to request flexibility in the workplace. But introducing the right doesn’t necessarily make it easy to approach the boss. What you need is someone to talk you through it, show you how it’s done, explain your rights and responsibilities – and help you get the desired results.

This book is not an overview or a review of how someone else did it, though there’s lots of shared experience here. This is a practical game plan, designed to get you back into work and help you stay there.

It won’t tell you how to make your toddler sleep at night so you can get to work. But it will give you practical advice on negotiating a flexible work arrangement, so that your toddler sees enough of you and doesn’t feel the need to stay awake all night to ‘catch up’. It won’t teach you how to fix a relationship that’s buckling under dual workloads. It will give you the tips and tricks you need to organise parental and household duties so that resentment doesn’t become an extra member of your family. Continue reading

Kerri Sackville, author of When My Husband Does The Dishes…, answers Five Facetious Questions

The Booktopia Book Guru asks

Kerri Sackville

author of When My Husband Does The Dishes…

Five Facetious Questions

——————-

1. Every writer spends at least one afternoon going from bookshop to bookshop making sure his or her latest book is facing out and neatly arranged. How far have you gone to draw attention to your own books in a shop?

Don’t be ridiculous. I would NEVER do something so tacky. Of course, I did *cough* offer a prize on my blog to the person who placed my book in the most prominent position and provide photographic evidence, but that doesn’t count at all as it’s not Continue reading

Kerri Sackville launches When My Husband Does the Dishes…

When My Husband Does the Dishes… by Kerri Sackville
was launched last Thursday night

Cunningly disguised as a wino to throw off the paparazzi, author and journalist Mark Dapin was on hand to officially launch the book…

Then the star of the night, the gorgeous Kerri Sackville, seduced her audience with a rendition of the Olivia Newton-John hit – I Honestly Love You

Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both know I got somewhere else to go
But I got something to tell you
That I never thought I would
But I believe you really ought to know

I love you
I honestly love you

After such a moving performance there wasn’t a dry eye in the house

Mark Lewis from Random House was on hand to steady his new star…

Author Kylie Ladd flew up from Melbourne for the event and was enjoying herself until she happened to look over her shoulder to see her agent in an embrace with another author…

Literary Agent Pippa Masson, who discovered Kerri on Twitter, proves once again that she likes to have a very close relationship with all of her clients…

And lastly… For those who doubt that I was there at all… let’s play Where’s the Wally…


If you feel like you keep missing out on the cool stuff that happens it might be because you’re not yet on Twitter. Sign up and follow @booktopia, @KerriSackville, @kylie_ladd and @pippamasson


Click here to read Kerri Sackville’s answers to my
Ten Terrifying Questions

Click here to read Kylie Ladd’s review of
When My Husband Does the Dishes…

Click here to order your very own copy of
When My Husband Does the Dishes…

Then on Friday, after spending much of the previous night drinking and carousing with her celebrity friends, a fragile Kerri Sackville arrived at Booktopia to cuddle and sign her books…

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