“I gasp, and I’m Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he’s the serpent, and I cannot resist.”
– Anastasia, Fifty Shades of Grey
It is almost impossible to have missed the Fifty Shades of Grey juggernaut, as the erotic novel has skyrocketed from Twilight fanfiction to e-book to the poster-child of “mummy porn.” The novel’s titillating mix of classic girl-meets-damaged-boy romance and soft yet explicit BDSM is absolutely compelling. I have to confess, I read it over a holiday and devoured it in a weekend. I was left wondering what Ana and Christian would do next, whether I could ever reconcile my feminism with my enjoyment of the story and how exactly to explain to my best friend’s mother that I had not only read her copy, but dropped it in the bath. If its 70-million-copy sales are anything to go by, E.L. James has proven that erotic fiction, once shameful, is more popular than we ever thought.
Like anything wildly successful, Fifty Shades has had its fair share of spin-offs, add-ons, parodies and addendums. From how-to guides to religious commentary, Booktopia brings you the Fifty Shades sequels you never knew you needed.
Fifty Shades of Parody
It is not just the title of Fifty Shades that is ripe for parody – dozens of take-offs and take-downs have been published in response to E.L. James’ hit. Here are our picks:
My personal favourite parody of Fifty Shades. Not only is it humorous, it’s informative, with over fifty different chicken recipes. Ironically, the video could be the best advertisement for vegetarianism ever made.
(Publisher’s blurb: Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more!
Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on.)
Fifty Sheds of Grey:
Seriously, seriously giggle-worthy.
(Publisher’s blurb: A compilation of shed erotica for the not-so-modern man
“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over the workbench. “Very well,” I replied, “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”
Colin Grey’s life was happy and simple until the day everything changed – the day his wife read THAT book. Suddenly, he was thrust head-first into a dark, illicit world of pleasure and pain.
This is the story of one man’s struggle against a tide of tempestuous, erotic desire and of the greatest love of all: the love between a man and his shed.)
Potentially Fifty Shades’ most well-known parody novel, Fifty Shames ticks all the right boxes. It’s witty, cheeky and surprisingly sexy. An excellent gift for a Fifty Shades devotee (provided they can take a joke).
(Publisher’s blurb: Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naive coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)?
Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?)
Fifty Shades of Decay
(Publisher’s blurb: What’s sexy about zombies? 51 authors answered that question with wild, weird, and titillating tales.
From love during the apocalypse, to love that goes beyond the grave and back again, to love that well, never dies, you’ll find these pages filled with desires demanding to be fufilled, hungers to be slaked, and lovers who won’t let a little thing like death (or undeath) come between them.
Do zombies need sex as much as they need brains? What would you do to bring a lover back from the dead? What if you survived the apocalypse only to find yourself alone and sexually frustrated?)
This title has to take the proverbial parody cake. The protagonist is named Anatevka Stein, her love interest Chaim Silver and the tagline is “Sex. Bondage. Bagels.” Not appropriate for the Chanukkah giftbox.
(Publisher’s blurb: When college senior Anatevka Stein meets bagel tycoon Chaim Silver, she encounters a mensch like none she has ever known- brilliant, lecherous and reeking of herring. The combination is impossible to resist. Chaim wants her too, subject to conditions spelled out in a Kinky Ketubah.
What sexual techniques will he teach her in his Blue Room of Broadloom? Why is the first night of Passover with Chaim truly different from all other nights?)
And many, many more…
Fifty Shades of… something unrelated
Fifty Shades has spawned a whole series of titles for books completely unrelated to romantic BDSM. Although title conjuring images of bondage and vegetables simultaneously are pretty unnerving, these titles are well worth a look.
Fifty Shades of Dry could possibly be the fastest way to desexualise a title with so many raunchy connotations. Also, a gripping read about a man’s struggle against nature.
(Publisher’s blurb: This is a trilogy about three separate epic climbs. Climbs that are difficult enough by themselves, but were made more grueling by the common thread of life-threatening heat.
The insidious sun sucking energy, water, and even your willpower from a well-conditioned man made the hard climbs a more arduous task. Included in these stories are many other true-to-life adventures and narrow escapes for the author.)
Kale is everywhere at the moment, including apparently between our sheets. With delicious photography and a whole lot of vegetable innuendo, eating your greens has never looked so good.
(Publisher’s blurb: Nothing is sexier than a sharp mind atop a lean, healthy body. Few foods are able to deliver this promise like kale. She is the ideal plant in many ways: beautiful, versatile, nourishing, and downright delicious.
And these days, she’s become a pretty popular dish. Unfortunately, many of kale’s admirers have fallen into the same boring routine: she’s chopped and served raw, gently sautéed, lightly steamed, or juiced. Kale has been subjected to a lack of imagination—until now.)
Nothing says sexy romp more than beloved Australian scientist Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki. While Dr. Karl’s scientific mythbusting has little to do with Christian’s lust for Ana, it is entertaining and educational… in a completely different way to Fifty Shades.
(Publisher’s blurb: Welcome to the wonderful world of Dr Karl: where oddities are embraced, facts reign supreme, curiosity is king and brightly coloured shirts are compulsory!
In 50 Shades of Grey Matter, Australia’s National Living Treasure Dr Karl Kruszelnicki applies his trademark straight-talkin’-no-high-falutin’ scientific sense to a brand new range of Big Questions that you never knew you even wanted to ask, but now desperately need to know the answers to!)
With a taste of Fifty Shades
Fifty Shades inspired erotic novels for even the most particular tastes, each one hotter than the last. As Ana would say, Holy…
Rachael Treasure presents an Aussie take on Fifty Shades, replete with farmhands, Akubras and bareback riding. Fifty Bales of Hay doesn’t take itself too seriously, and you are guaranteed plenty of giggles!
(Publisher’s blurb: Come have a roll in the hay with one of Australia’s leading rural fiction authors, Rachael Treasure, in her romping, rollicking first-ever collection of Agricultural Erotica. Fifty Bales of Hay is an honest and imaginative exploration of everyday men and women getting down and dirty on the land.
From the dairy shed to the Royal Agricultural show pavilion, Treasure’s cheeky satirical humour and wicked imagination offers up a dozen fun-filled, and sometimes poignant, tales of dust and lust.)
It’s very difficult to go wrong in the hands of an author named William Codpiece Thwackery. Fifty Shades of Mr. Darcy is the Pride and Prejudice you never read at school.
(Publisher’s blurb: Elizabeth Bennet had been brought up to be a proper lady – with perfect manners, skilled in conversation and well respected in her community. But when Mr Elliot Bingley comes to court Lizzy’s sister, she is given the opportunity to learn a somewhat different skill set upon her introduction to his friend, a Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.
It only takes one chance meeting with this tall, dark stranger for Lizzy to be lured into Darcy’s secret world of lascivious practices and lusty urges.)
The title says it all, really.
(Publisher’s blurb: Meeting his celebrity crush was one thing, but even Hollywood could not have written what happened next.
Inspired by E.L. James’ international phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey, Jeffery Self’s 50 Shades of Gay tells the story of a young celebrity blogger, Alex Kirby, who interviews Taylor Grayson, a superstar leading man in Hollywood blockbuster films.)
Don’t try this at home, kids…
For anyone interested in, or even remotely considering, spicing up their love life with a few tips from E.L. James, here are a few helpful guides available.
More than fifty thoughts on Fifty Shades
Want to know what the Fifty Shades phenomenon says about our society? Interested in hearing what the BDSM community, literary agents, feminists and romance authors have to say? Fifty Writers is the perfect collection of commentary on exactly what it is about Fifty Shades that made it so alluring.
(Publisher’s blurb: Can’t get enough of Fifty Shades of Grey?
Now, Fifty Writers on Fifty Shades of Grey extends the conversation women (and men!) are having across the country. The perfect panel of insiders—from the editor who first “discovered” Fifty Shades of Grey, to BDSM experts, to erotic fiction authors, romance authors, and a whole lot more—takes you deeper into the trilogy that has captured the imaginations of so many.)
This book is the perfect response to the sexual politics dilemmas raised by Fifty Shades. A great read for hardcore, bra-burning and novice feminists alike, Fifty Shades of Feminism is an excellent, varied compliation of essays and short pieces on the challenges facing women today.
(Publisher’s blurb: The antidote to the idea that being a woman is all about submitting to desire. There are many more shades than that and here are fifty women to explore them.
Fifty years after the publication of The Feminine Mystique, have women really exchanged purity and maternity to become desiring machines inspired only by variations of sex, shopping and masochism – all coloured a brilliant neuro-pink?)
Fifty Shades of Black and White/Fifty Shades of Light/Fifty Shades of Grace
These three books offer a Christian perspective on the depiction of relationships and intimacy in Fifty Shades of Grey. What is a biblical understanding of sex, and where does Fifty Shades fit (or not fit) in?
This book is quite a serious addendum to the Fifty Shades trilogy. It deals with criticism of Christian’s behaviour as abusive through stories of survivors of abuse.
(Publisher’s blurb: The very first book from #OneVoice. A collection of fifty true victims and survivors stories from around the world with one common theme – domestic violence/abuse.
Each one written from the heart and unedited so raw and full of the pain and feelings they convey. ALL revenue from the sale of this book will be donated to charities around the world.)
How authentic is the Fifty Shades lifestyle? Find out in this candid, no-holds barred autobiography of a real-life mistress.
(Publisher’s blurb: One girl’s journey from a poor, but conventional, family background, to life as Britain’s foremost dominatrix.
Here is the intelligent, funny story of how one Mistress made her way to the top-a warm and moving true story of triumph over family intrigue and tragedy.)
And finally… Very literally, Fifty Shades of Grey
This could be the ultimate gift for any Fifty Shades fan. A lavish visual interpretation of the trilogy.
(Publisher’s blurb: In the short time since Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele entered the public gaze, the world has become entranced with all things grey, from the pale and innocent to the downright dark and dirty.
This gift book takes readers on an unforgettable journey through all 50 actual shades of the monochrome world, from Cling Film Grey to Padlock Grey, Rope to Cooling Candlewax to Running Mascara. Don’t be the last to discover that grey really is the new black.)